Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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