I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
