I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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