I wish I only lived at night.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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