i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
