found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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