I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
