can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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