Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
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I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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