Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
