I am in a vortex of obligation.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
