Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
