two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
