glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
