no. you can't hotbox the world.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
