I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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