He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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