Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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