omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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