called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
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im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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