New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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