I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
