We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Randomize
