AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
