2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
how do you play pong handcuffed?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
that is very illegal...i love you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
