Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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