We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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