when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
