just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
