Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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