why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
