walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
