he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
