My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
