am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Drake has all the answers
Randomize