Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
