I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Too much gin, very little bucket
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
