I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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