dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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