theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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