Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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