My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
