How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??