and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
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just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
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a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.