Come see our sink grown plant.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize