Church boner. Awkwardddd
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
