bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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