smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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