it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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