Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
