To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
