Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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