Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
