He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
