Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
