he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
