i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize