I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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