Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You left your phone here
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